Wilted Blossom
You should accept her with open arms and make sure her teachers do too. You tell her she makes you happy just the way she is. But watch out. If she has brothers, she may engage in rough-and-tumble play with them; not being as big and strong as they are, she may get hurt more quickly. Or she may best them in various kinds of physical contests, so be prepared for her brothers’ expressions of dismay. As far as your tomboy’s appearance, she may get just as dirty as boys, or more so, and revel in the process. Often a tomboy prefers wearing blue jeans and T-shirts to skirts and dresses, which can be a benefit. Buy her the clothes she wants. They are usually easier to take care of than girly outfits, may be less costly, and last longer. Many parents agree on a compromise when it comes to the clothing of a tomboy. They have an every-other-day rule in place. That means on some days they choose their daughter’s attire. On others, she is free to wear her favorite sweatshirt and ripped jeans. For her birthday or holiday gifts, asks her what she wants. Whether it is overalls or a toolbox filled with the latest tools, fulfill her heart’s desire. Many tomboys go through developmental stages that may include:
A slow but steady increased liking for activities, clothing, and behaviors usually associated with boys. A peak period when she may wear her hair in a boyish style, prefer to play only with boys, and insist on being called by a unisex form of her name, such as Alex for Alexandra or Sam for Samantha. A switchback to more middle-of-the road behaviors such as acting like a traditional girl some times and like a boy at other times.
Not all tomboys go through stages. Some tough girls stay the way they developed from early on and grow into confident, independent-thinking, success-oriented young women. As adults, former tomboys can be much in demand because they are usually strong-willed, are high achievers, and can do so many useful things from changing the oil in a car to installing a new sink, thereby saving money and time. Most of all, they are empowered in all situations. Wow—what an asset.
