Stop. Look. Listen. Where is your time going and are you in control? What do you REALLY want to be doing? How much of what you’re doing is really necessary? What kind of outside activities are your children involved in? How many? How about yourself? Weigh the value of these things against the value of doing things together as a family. Of course, basic household chores have to be done. But you can do them as a family; you can even turn them into celebrations and rituals. For example, pick one day a week when the kids make the dinner. You’ll have to help them at first, but once they have mastered a few recipes, all of you will look forward to “kid’s cook night.” The more you can organize the basic everyday chores, the more time you will have to play! My book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Organizing Your Life, shows you lots of ways to help you get organized and create time to do the things you really want to do. Here are a few suggestions:
Encourage your kids to organize themselves and pitch in with household chores. Hold a family meeting to determine together who does what. In many families, especially those with older children, everyone tends to go in different directions. That’s fine up to a point, but there’s real value in instituting regular family time – no excuses, no exceptions. Insist on Sunday dinner together, for instance, or daily family breakfasts. Schedule hikes and other outings. Set aside weekly time for crafts. Consider instituting a weekly Family Night and plan a whole month’s activities in advance. One week it could be making a particular craft, another it could be playing board games or going out to play miniature golf. As you discover which crafts your family most enjoys, you may want to set aside even more time for those crafts.
Crafts can also be used to make your family routines more enjoyable. Here are a few ways crafts can help organize and enhance your life. Use crafts to make convenient, attractive storage spaces. Having places to store things — hooks, cubbies, shelves, and cabinets — will encourage your kids (and you) to put things away and to stay organized. Use crafts to make family mealtimes more special. Make or buy cloth napkins and make a napkin ring for each family member with his or her name on it. The cloth napkins add an air of importance to meals, and the napkins can be reused so you can cut down on your laundry. (If each person has their own napkin and napkin ring, a napkin can be used for more than one meal.) Make some of your table linens and accessories, such as place mats, and use them regularly. Children enjoy seeing things they’ve made used by the rest of the family. Decorate the table with flowers or seasonal displays every so often. Don’t forget candles. (I show you how to make them in Candle Making.) Leave enough time in the morning to have breakfast together. (A place mat made by each child at his or her place at the table makes that more likely.) Use this time to set up the day, find out what’s happening, and offer words of encouragement. The evening meal can also be a time for the family to come together. Ask your kids, “What new thing did you learn today?” “What made you wonder today?” “What goal did you have and how close did you come to achieving it?” Discuss a news item. Make dinnertime fun by finding a puzzle or riddle for your children to solve. Say “No” to all early evening meetings or classes. And make it a rule not to accept phone calls during certain hours. Maintain a “No TV” rule until after dinner. Let Sunday dinner be another time to incorporate crafts into your daily life. Dress up the table with a centerpiece of natural materials. Dress up for dinner. It may seem silly at first, but kids (especially younger ones) usually enjoy it. Create a party atmosphere. Put out special place mats and napkins. Let the kids make a festive dessert. Try out new recipes and repeat regular favorites. Ask every family member to share the best thing that happened all week. Invite someone over. Make Sunday your one day of leisure. Stay home. Walk. Sing. Play games. Make it a rule that all homework has to be done before Sunday, so there’s no frantic Sunday night cramming. Don’t do household chores, either. Refresh the spirit. Another opportunity to make crafts a part of everyday life is to incorporate them into family bath and bedtime rituals. Make your own bubble baths and potions. Add personalized decorations to linens, toothbrushes, and cups, using techniques in Sewing: Get It Together and Glass Painting. Make hampers for each person. Kids love things with their names on them and it encourages them to take care of their own things. Spend time before bed making up stories that kids can later write or illustrate in handmade books or act out in plays. Give your kids a half hour of uninterrupted attention every day. Use this time for touching, stroking, massaging tired shoulders, or holding each other. Take time to talk.
title: “Ways To Make More Time” ShowToc: true date: “2022-11-15” author: “Carmen Carver”
The same thing is true of your time together. If the two of you set aside time every week to have fun, you would always have something to look forward to. And if you also set aside time every week to discuss important issues, you would feel confident that you would always have time to work things out.
It’s as Easy as One, Two, Three
When you share your life with somebody, there are countless decisions to make. Some are small, such as what time to make dinner reservations on Saturday night, and other decisions are complicated, like making the annual budget or planning a vacation. By setting aside planning time, you ensure that you will have time to make joint decisions and will free up other time you spend together to just enjoy yourselves. Every good, healthy marriage needs time set aside for three general activities. These need to be scheduled on a regular basis and be treated with respect: Most couples do not plan for these activities and end up being frustrated. All of these different times serve different purposes, and each is equally important. If you don’t make time for each of these important activities, it will interfere with your relationship. For instance, if your spouse is doing something that is bothering you, it’s important to discuss it. It might be a small thing, but if you don’t have a chance to talk about it, your feelings of annoyance will build up. You will probably find that you are arguing more and are not enjoying your time together as much. Ensuring that you will be there to listen to each other is half of the battle.
Your New Weekly Time Planner
Look at your “Where Does the Time Go?” chart again. How much time do you think you need to discuss issues each week? Most couples need about 30 minutes a week for planning activities and 30 minutes for conflict resolution. Now reorganize the hours you spend with your spouse every week. Set aside a 30-minute session for planning, a 30-minute session for conflict resolution, and a full evening or afternoon for fun time. If you reorganize the time you spend with your spouse, you will be amazed at how much it adds to your marriage. When scheduling time together, keep in mind the following:
